Episode 44: The Transformers

The Optimus Prime puppet from the so-called "Season 5"

"Are Kup and Hot Rod gonna be alright, Uncle Prime?" "Kup and Hot Rod are gonna be just fine, Li'l Tommy."

How has it taken 44 episodes to get to this?! Ben and I sit down with TFG1 Mike and JT from Saskatoon to talk about robots that turn into cars, planes, and boomboxes. Yes, it’s The Transformers. At last, this day has come!

I know that it’s not great storytelling. Heck, the show can barely go an episode without contradicting itself. But when it comes to creating iconic characters by the seat of its pants, nothing… I mean, NOTHING tops G1 Transformers. Optimus Prime, Megatron, Hot Rod, Starscream, Jazz, Soundwave, Grimlock, Ironhide, Cyclonus, Kup, and many, many more.

Today, we make fun of G1 a lot, but it’s all out of love.

Topics Discussed
GET THAT CRAP OUT OF MY ROBOT SHOW!!!
Optimus Prime: Death and Resurrection
The immaculate conception of Spike Witwicky
Robots with souls
Gay love Autobots
Of Mice And Dinobots
“No one’s ever really disabled as long as they have COURAGE!”
“Don’t sneak up on me, Tommy!”
Daniel cries like a baby
Rodimus listens to old Cure albums and cuts himself
The birth of AKOM
Toy-accurate Ultra Magnus makes us cry
Targetmaster contortionists
Ninja consultants
A life support system that you wear into battle
Putting dead giant robots into wooden caskets
The F*@!ING CYBERNETIC SPACE CUBE!!!
The Go-Bots movie SUCKS!!!!!!!!!1111oneoneone

Grimlock! Shhh!

Proof that Rodimus is a terrible leader. Optimus would NEVER have taken Grimlock along on a spy mission.

Daniel jumps down Arcee's empty neck!!

And Mike Blanchard wants an explanation for why I think that this is a terrible episode. Isn't it obvious?!??!

The dying and rising Optimus Prime

Here's the guy I pray to every Sunday!


3 thoughts on “Episode 44: The Transformers

  1. Haha, I’ve been waiting for this episode for some time now. One of the funniest moments for me was when Cliffjumper and I think it was Mirage, had that awkward tumble roll together after laughing spontaneous from an op table. Then, how about that episode “Child’s Play” where the Autobots and Decepticons end up on that alien planet in a little boys room? Everytime I think of that ep. and unicron my head hurts. He couldn’t eat that place if he tried, even if he was scaled properly he would have been ball park sized at most in that place. I just thought it was funny is all.

    • The scale on Transformers went up and down all the time. There’s a funny picture on one of the Transformers wikis of Omega Supreme holding Astrotrain in shuttle mode in his claw. Now if you think about all of the Decepticons, including DEVASTATOR, fitting inside of Astrotrain, that’s one hell of a scale slip. I don’t think even Metroplex was ever scaled that big in the cartoon.

      But it gets even better. Unicron, even at his largest, couldn’t even be anywhere near as large as our own moon. At the beginning of the film, he eats the planet Lithone, but as he gets close to the planet, you can plainly see that there are buildings visible from space. Now, I don’t care how up-scaled those buildings are for giant robots to inhabit them;. they would have to be larger than the tallest mountains for that to be even remotely possible. Therefore, Lithone is a dwarf planet, as is Cybertron. And if that’s the case, then Unicron’s probably no bigger than a city, unless he can shift his mass the way Soundwave does.

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